One of the most thoughtful, intelligent and logical posts I have read in a long time on JWD or anywhere!
I know I feel really irritated when my JW mother says she worries about me because I have a chronic illness and she was praying for me to find a good job and when I found one she said her prayers were answered.
No, I worked like hell and went into debt for the last 10 years to educate myself. I worked on my resume, I sent them out, I went on interviews and tried to "sell" my services to the highest bidder. When I get a job, I work like hell to do a good job. That's why I have a good job. Her worry and prayers didn't do a damn thing to help me in any practical way.
If I have any energy or money left over at the end of the day, which I often don't, I will use it to try and help my family or those less fortunate with some sort of practical help, no matter how small.
How does my saying a prayer or worrying about my children's struggles help them one iota? It doesn't. It is just a way to feel like you are doing something useful when in fact you are doing nothing useful to help a situation.